Duff Moss -- nuff said

Holy Shit

2010-06-24T20:28:00.002+10:00

Holy shit Duff. Haven't been on this friggen blog for nearly a year. I probably should give a shit. Guess I don't though.

Who give a shit Moss - this blog is totally friggen lame.

No way man - I'm gonna shake this place up - gonna get things moving man. Shock the world. Make them take notice.

You're not going to post a picture of your arse again are you?

Well I'm not going to now am I arsehole. Maybe I'll just post that Shatner article I wrote that those bastards at Triond banned.

Just friggen do it and don't tell me about it. I still hate you, and you're fatter than ever

Piss off!

OK

Bloody Hell

2009-10-27T21:46:00.000+11:00

Bloody hell Duff!

What Moss?

You haven't updated this stupid blog since 22nd July.

So what? No-one freaking reads the thing do they?

Why is that then Duff?

Because your an idiot and people hate you

Oh, ok - I guess that makes sense then

Damn straight puss bag!

Piss off

Get stuffed jerk

What the hell are you doing

2009-07-22T23:07:00.003+10:00

What the hell have you being doing?

What are you on about now?

Look at that friggen widget at the side. You've written heaps of crap since the last post. Why didn't you tell me about it

Because you're a rude arsehole. Everytime I tell you about a new story I wrote you insult me, and I am sick of it

Oh - don't get all pissy about it. I'm only joking, and I always read what you have to say. Even if what you write is worse than the puss from a tropical ulcer on a baboons arse!

See - there I knew it. You're such an idioit - I didn't even bring this up and you still find a way to insult me. I'm not talking to you anymore. Go get stuffed.

Fine then. I'll post the links myself. Not like it's rocket scient you big girl's blouse.

http://www.authspot.com/Biographies/Listen-to-Me-and-Listen-to-Me-Well.850169

http://www.authspot.com/Journals/Onkalarkarage.873851

http://www.authspot.com/Thoughts/Let-my-Suffering-End.893361

http://purpleslinky.com/humor/satire/a-new-love/

A Fate Worse Than Death

2009-06-12T14:45:00.003+10:00

Holy crap - I nearly carked it today!

Really? That's a pity

I know, it was really scary

No - a pity that you survived. You're a nob and I hate you

I don't hate you

Ohhhh - that's nice of you to say. I still hate you though!

You're an absolute piece of scum sucking slime licking crap head

I know - thank you

Ahhh stuff ya. I wrote about it, so if you feel like not being an arsehole soon, you may wish to have a look:

http://www.authspot.com/Short-Stories/A-Fate-Worse-Than-Death.773915

Civilisation is a Crapper

2009-05-29T00:27:00.002+10:00

I am a freaking genius

Yeah - why oh lord of the mighty richard cranium

Because I have figured out the single most important factor that drives a civilisation forward.

I highly doubt that

Why?

Because you are an imbecile

That does it - I'm sick of your friggen insults - you can go suck your own dick and piss off. I'm done with ya. If you feel like growing a brain and become informed, check out the following:

http://www.authspot.com/Thoughts/Civilisation-is-a-Crapper.734481

Where's My Pants?

2009-05-20T21:43:00.002+10:00

Freaking hell - where's my bloody pants?

They're beside the bed where you left them - like you always do you stinking pig.

Oh yeah - stupid me. I just had a flash back to that time when I couldn't find my pants that time.

What time?

You know, when I was up at that Forum thingy.

It never happened - your a freaking bullshitter.

Well ok - but it did inspire this story though. So go look at it poonka:

http://www.authspot.com/Thoughts/Wheres-my-Pants.717873

Berry of Fegger

2009-05-06T09:38:00.003+10:00

Hey muddha - ever heard of a Fegger?

A FEGGER - Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Bloke...bloke...you there...so you've heard of a Fegger?

No

Why did you scream then?

poured hot coffee in my lap. What the frig is a fegger.

Most fearsome mythical creature of the Australian bush. Learn yaself here:

http://www.authspot.com/Short-Stories/Berry-of-Fegger.692241

Retrospective Precognitive

2009-05-04T11:50:00.003+10:00

Yo bloke - where are ya?

Sorry, had a blocked nose, had to go blow it.

That's a coincidence. I wrote a story about that time my nose told the future

You a freaking liar - it did no such thing

Yeah it friggen did you stupid sack of phlegm

No it didn't you imbecile

I told you before that it told the future, and that future happened.

You are completely and utterly mental. Why do I even talk to you. You have no grip on reality. You live in a moron's fantasy world filled with doughnuts and levitating dune buggies. Keep away from me

Fine...but at least read my article:

http://www.authspot.com/Short-Stories/Retrospective-Precognitive.687447

What are you afraid of?

2009-04-29T09:47:00.004+10:00

Hey nob brain - what are you afraid of?

I'm afraid I'm gonna stick my foot up your arse

Yeah, well I'm afraid that you wont be able to remove your foot from your own arse to stick it up my arse you absolute idiot

Ahh shut up

Anyway there may be HEAPS to be afraid of, but it's not what you think. Check it out here you stupid fool:

http://www.socyberty.com/Lifestyle-Choices/What-are-You-Afraid-Of.680103

A Warning Most Purple

2009-04-26T00:45:00.003+10:00

Holy crap - they posted it

Finally

Yeah - but I had to change the title, resubmit a new article, and delete the old. It used to be called purple carrot - now it's A Warning Most Purple

oh - sounds stupid

piss of nob brain

Oh well - where is it

It's here - when I wrote it, I thought it was the best stupid thing I had written. Now after the fiasco around it, not so sure.

I am sure it's crap

Get stuffed - just read it idiot

http://www.authspot.com/Short-Stories/A-Warning-Most-Purple.671171

2009-04-23T23:50:00.003+10:00

Hey Duff - where is the purple carrot story - you submitted that ages ago.

Yeah, I know dude - those friggen Triond editors have taken a personal offense to it or something and are refusing to publish. I will keep up the good fight.

Friggen bastards

Yeah - I know - freaking shittin me - cause it's a masterpiece. Anyway. I wrote something else - totally stupid of course

I expect nothing else

Shut up ya ahole - anyway - here it is

http://www.authspot.com/Thoughts/Spent.666767

Sick Leave Note #2

2009-04-20T14:23:00.002+10:00

Hey moonga

What muddha

You feeling sick - you want to take a sick day off

Yeah I'm always feeling sick, but generally sick in the head

I know - you're a complete mental case

You can talk douche bag

Settle poonka. Here, here is another sick leave note you can use to get a couple of days off:

http://www.authspot.com/Thoughts/Sick-Leave-Note-2.659339

Its Time Had Come

2009-04-14T23:14:00.003+10:00

Hey Duff you moron

Don't call me a moron you idiot asshole

Ok ok - sorry. But you know that other article I wrote - the Doom of my Soul.

Yeah - freaking too serious for my liking

Indeed it was. I couldn't live with myself writing something so heartfelt, so I wrote anther article - something of a polar opposite to that article - to bring balance to the force.

That's more like it - where is it muddha?

Check it out here dude:

http://www.authspot.com/Thoughts/Its-Time-Had-Come.650087

Oh - The dreaded 9 to 5

2009-04-14T22:16:00.002+10:00

Hey Duff,

What bloke?

First day back at work today after a bit.

Yeah - that would have sucked bad

Ucking Oath it did - it put me in a very bad mood - so I decided to write about how I felt going in today.

Yeah - funny?

No you idiot - grim and dark. Go read it here you moron:

http://www.authspot.com/Thoughts/The-Doom-of-my-Soul.649499

Do Women have a sense of Humour?

2009-04-11T00:43:00.004+10:00

Hey Duff,

yeah bloke - what?

Do you think women have a sense of humour?

Hmmm - not sure - married women don't find their husbands funny that is for sure.

Yeah - I know - this bloke wrote an article about it - seems pretty conclusive to me!

I'll have to check it out bloke - where is it at

It's here man - enjoy:

http://www.authspot.com/Journals/Do-Women-Have-a-Sense-of-Humour.642265

The End is Nigh

2009-04-10T00:05:00.001+10:00

Holy FREAKING CRAP

What....what the matter Duff

I had a freaking vision man - a vision of the future - and it is totally and utterly stuffed. Do yourself a favour and check it out here - be prepared muddha - be prepared:

http://www.authspot.com/Short-Stories/The-End-is-Nigh.641949

2009-04-07T00:14:00.001+10:00

Hey Duff!

Yeah What?

Remember when you went to San Jose those many years ago - well I wrote a little story about it. What more, it's only mildly exaggerated.

Ok cool - I'll check it out - where is it?

It's here muddha:

http://www.authspot.com/Thoughts/A-Differing-of-Opinion.632051

The Awesome KGB

2009-04-05T00:16:00.000+11:00

They all thought I was mad...and well perhaps they were right, but they are dead now. My plans at world domination have however hit a snag - perhaps you can assist?

Read the full article here:
http://www.authspot.com/Thoughts/The-Awesome-KGB.630087

A lesson learnt

2009-04-05T00:14:00.001+11:00

Life is occasionally...no wait...sometimes...no that's not right...almost always is a cruel beast of despair from which there is no escape. I learnt this lesson the hard way.

Visit the full article here:
http://www.authspot.com/Thoughts/A-Lesson-Learnt.630057

A funny thing happened...

2009-03-31T00:53:00.000+11:00

I doubt anyone is reading this, so I guess I am simply talking to myself - which seems as good a thing to do as any.

So Duff, guess what, I posted a new article - go check it out you muddha:

A funny thing happened to me today when driving into work - and well of course the result was that my mind wandered into avenues of weirdness that not even I comprehend fully.

Visit the full article here:
http://www.authspot.com/Thoughts/A-Funny-Thing-Happened.622099

2009-03-25T22:02:00.000+11:00

Here I am venturing into the blogsphere - not sure I see the point of it all at this stage but one needs to try a thing before one can condemn a thing.

I doubt that I will be adding posts on a regular basis, but if you feel somewhat inclined you can check out my articles at Triond - see the widget below. Generally a bunch of crazy stuff there - so be warned, you may come away damaged in the head.